I became a mother in July 2020.
It’s been five years, and believe it or not, I still feel traumatized when I think about my childbirth and postpartum experience. My husband and I had planned to have another child after two to four years, but as you can see, we haven’t followed that plan. One of the main reasons we’ve put it on hold is that I still feel deeply affected by my first experience—I don’t feel ready to go through it all again. Of course, we also want to be financially, emotionally, and spiritually prepared. We know that no one can ever be fully ready, but at the very least, we want to be aware of what’s ahead.
But again, this is our plan—only God knows what He has in store for us.
Looking Back at My Postpartum Journey
I wrote about my postpartum experience on my old blog, which you can read [here](insert link). After that, I had no time to record my journey because I was busy with hospital visits. I did manage to update after two weeks of becoming a mom, which you can read [here](insert link).
In this post, I want to share my raw and honest take on what postpartum recovery truly feels like, so you know you’re not alone.
The First Few Hours After Birth
After giving birth to my son, the first thing I felt was extreme hunger and soreness all over my body. I asked for something to eat, and the nurse gave me hot Milo and biscuits. After eating, I regained some energy, and they put me in a wheelchair to be moved to my hospital bed.
While waiting for my registration, at this time, the nurse left me in front of the air conditioner, and I started shivering uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop shaking, and the nurse covered me with two blankets before pushing me to my bed, along with my baby. I still remember the overwhelming feeling—this deep loneliness as the realization hit me: I am truly a mom now.
I had two IV drips attached to my hands, so I didn’t know how to properly hold my baby. No one was there to help me. Out of nowhere, my baby started crying, and I felt completely clueless. But even then, my motherly instinct kicked in—I wanted to hold him. However, with the IV drips in both hands, it was difficult. My son kept crying in the middle of the night, disturbing everyone. I had no choice but to pick him up, and in doing so, one of the IV drips came loose. Blood splattered onto the wall. I panicked and called the nurse, but since it was the middle of the night, she came in half-asleep. I felt so helpless. I wanted to cry, but there were other moms and babies in the room.
Not to mention, I was still bleeding heavily. From head to toe, I felt discomfort. The thought of going through that experience again is terrifying.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
After being discharged from the hospital, I went through an intense emotional rollercoaster. Looking back, I realize I had baby blues—something that felt like a storm raging inside me. My hormones were all over the place, I barely got any sleep, and yet, I was expected to take full responsibility for this tiny human.
I was incredibly hard on myself during my postpartum period. I kept forcing myself to believe that I could handle everything alone.
What I Wish I Knew
If I could go back and give myself advice, this is what I would say:
Every recovery is different: Comparing yourself to others—especially Instagram moms—will only steal your joy. Focus on your own journey.
Healing takes time: It’s okay if you don’t feel “back to normal” right away. Your body just did something amazing—give it grace.
Your mental health matters: Postpartum depression is real, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t hesitate to talk to someone if you’re struggling.
Final Thoughts
Postpartum recovery is a wild ride, but it’s also a season of growth and resilience. If you’re in the thick of it, know that you’re stronger than you think. Give yourself permission to rest, heal, and embrace the messiness of this beautiful journey.
What was your postpartum recovery experience like? Share your story in the comments—let’s support each other! 💕
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