My First Father's Day Without My Dad(Amai)

This year, Father’s Day feels different.

My dad passed away on 13 May 2025, just over a month ago. And now, with Father’s Day around the corner, I find myself feeling things I didn’t expect. We never really celebrated Father's Day in a big way, just a phone call, or just spending time together. But knowing he's not here anymore… that changes everything.


I didn’t realize how much space this day could take up in my heart until now.


Grief has a quiet way of creeping in. It shows up when I see Father's Day ads, when I hear someone talk about what they’re planning for their dad, or when I scroll past posts filled with happy family photos. I’m happy for them truly but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t sting a little.


There’s a new kind of silence in my life now. A kind that can’t be filled with phone calls, visits, or simple “Selamat Hari Bapa” wishes. I miss him. I miss the sound of his voice, the way he used to laugh, his advice (even the ones I didn’t always follow), and just knowing he was there.


This Father’s Day, I’m not buying a gift or writing a card. Instead, I’m sitting with my memories. I’m remembering the man who shaped so much of who I am. I’m allowing myself to feel the sadness, the gratitude, the love.


If you're reading this and you still have your dad with you, I hope you hug him tighter this year. Tell him you love him. Do something simple but meaningful. And if you’ve lost your dad too, know that you’re not alone. Our grief connects us. So does our love.


To my dad: 

Thank you for everything. I carry you with me, always. This Father’s Day, and every day.

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