Back in April 2024, I received an offer to work in Borneo—Sabah, Malaysia. It felt like a dream come true. I’ve always wanted to live and work in Borneo. The thought of being closer to family(tinggal satu tanah Borneo), nature, living a slower-paced life, and wanted to giving my family the experience of East Malaysia filled me with excitement. Without thinking twice, I said yes.
Even though there were red flags with the company that hired me(I was hired by subcon for Malaysia Airport to work in KKIA as Senior QA Tester there) —contract position, unclear structure, limited stability & I termakan the words, the contract will keep extended every year(its just words, no black and white) —I ignored them all. My heart was louder than my logic. I was too eager. I just wanted to go.
The first few months were beautiful in their own way. My mother-in-law came to stay with us in Kota Kinabalu. Having her around brought warmth into our home. I got closer to her, and the most special part was seeing my son bond with his grandma, his uncle, aunty and Saban + his cousins on his daddy's side. It was a precious chapter that I will always treasure.
For 3 months, we need to go through long distance marriage as my husband hadn’t moved to KK yet. He was waiting for his company to sort out the relocation documents and also the car documents too. So there I was—working, parenting, and adjusting to a new life—without my husband beside me. This is first time I experienced this.
And then the financial pressure began to hit. I had accepted a lower salary just to make this dream happen. I was trying to juggle two houses—our home in Kajang and our rented place in KK. Commitments piled up. The numbers didn’t add up. There were months when I couldn’t even pay some of my bills. That feeling of helplessness? It ate me alive. I kept asking myself, “Why did I do this to myself?” I didn’t recognize the version of me that made this decision so impulsively.
Then came October 2024.
That was the day my manager from HQ told me my contract wouldn’t be extended beyond March 2025 due to budget constraints and some internal changes. Just like that. The job I moved across the sea for, the life I tried so hard to build—it was all slipping through my fingers. The subcon company never say anything to me until a week before my contract end, can you imagine that! I totally feel scammed! But, I am thankful my manager at Malaysia Airport told me earlier.
After hearing this news, I was crushed. Disappointed. Angry at myself. I don't even dare to tell my family especially my parent when we went back for Christmas 2024! It's just feel so much disappointment and I don't want my old parent worry about me. I tried to stay hopeful and applied for other jobs in KK, but I didn’t get any calls. Maybe my expected salary was too high. Maybe the opportunities just weren’t there. Either way, it felt like doors were closing all around me. Only my faith and hope in God keep me hanging on and just go forward in this life.
If I didn’t have to pay for our house in Kajang, maybe I’d settle for a lower offer. But I couldn’t. I needed to think long-term. And deep down, I started to realize something: I missed our home.
I missed our little corner in Kajang. I missed the comfort at our own home and more opportunity in my career at KL/Selangor. So, after countless discussions with my husband, we made the decision to return to the Peninsula Malaysia again and on 18 April 2025, we finally came back to our home in Kajang. A full circle moment. A heavy but hopeful one.
Now, here I am—unemployed, uncertain, but strangely at peace.
This one-year journey taught me so much about life, dreams, and consequences. About what it means to follow your heart blindly. About how hard it is to admit you made a decision that didn’t work out the way you hoped. But most importantly, it taught me to be kinder to myself.
We all make choices we thought were right at the time. And that’s okay.
Borneo will always have a piece of my heart. At first, I feel so much kecewa and angry that my work in Borneo dream has failed but after take a moments to think deeply about it, I can say, I don’t regret going. I found peace there. I witnessed beauty. I had meaningful moments with my in law family there especially when I was admitted to Hospital Likas due to emergency surgery to remove cyst and so many good memories with my in law family. This is my first time really lived and get to know them so close. I am thankful.
Now, it’s time to start again. I pray this return marks a new beginning. One with better balance, better clarity, and maybe this time—better of everything! I just don't have energy to go through any life turbulence again haha, oh dear God, please make everything smooth and easy for me and family.
💛 From My Heart to Yours
If you're reading this and going through your own storm, I just want you to know—it's okay to start over. It’s okay to admit something didn’t go as planned. That doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you brave.
We don’t always get the happy ending we imagined, but we always get a chance to write a new one.
To all the working moms, dreamers, and women trying to keep it all together—keep going. You’re not alone.
📖 Bible Verse That Carries Me Through:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
If you're interested to read about our Life in Borneo, you can read from link below:
0 comments