How to Practice Self-Love Before Expecting It from Others

As women, we often give so much of ourselves to others, spouse, children, work, and family, that we sometimes forget the most important person in our lives: ourselves. We expect love, care, and appreciation from others, but have we taken the time to truly love ourselves first?

I used to believe that love had to come from someone else to feel complete. But over time, I've learned that the deepest, most fulfilling love starts from within. When you love yourself, you set the standard for how others should treat you. 

Here's how I practice self-love before expecting it from others.

1. Speak Kindly to Yourself

Have you ever noticed how we are our own worst critics? The way we talk to ourselves in our minds is often harsher than we would ever speak to a friend.

I used to tell myself things like, I am not good enough or I'll never get this right.

Now, I make a conscious effort to replace negative thoughts with affirmations:

•  I am doing my best, and that's enough.
• I deserve love and kindness especially from myself.
• I am strong, capable, and worthy of happiness.

When you change your inner dialogue, you start treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion you wish to receive from others.

2. Take Yourself on Solo Dates

Before expecting date from someone else, why not date yourself? Its sound kesian but not at all. 

I love taking myself on solo coffee dates, going for nature walks, or even dressing up just for me.These moments remind me that my own company is enough, and I don't need validation from others to enjoy life.

Some self-date ideas:

• A quiet breakfast at a cafe with a good book.
• Watching a movie alone (and picking exactly what you want).I love this the most! I am kdrama fans! ❤️
• Taking a solo trip or a short getaway.
• Buying yourself flowers, just because you deserve it.

3. Set Boundaries & Protect Your Energy

Loving yourself means knowing when to say no. If something drains you emotionally, mentally, or physically, you have every right to step back. This applies to work, relationships, and even family obligations.

I used to feel guilty for saying no to things I didn't have the energy for, but now I understand that setting boundaries is a form of self-respect. When you prioritize your well-being, you teach others how to respect your space and time.

4. Invest in Your Growth & Happiness

Self-love also means investing in yourself. It's easy to get caught up in daily responsibilities, but making time for personal growth is just as important.

• Take up a new hobby you've always wanted to try.
• Read books that inspire and empower you.
• Learn a new skill that excites you.
• Work towards a personal goal, just for you.

When you prioritize your growth, you become more fulfilled and you don't rely on others to bring happiness into your life.

5. Practice Self-Care Without Guilt

Many women, especially moms, feel guilty for taking time for themselves. But self-care is not selfish, its necessary. Whether its a skincare routine, a relaxing bath, or just 15 minutes of quiet time, make it a non-negotiable part of your day.

Some self-care ideas:

• Waking up 10 minutes earlier for peaceful alone time.
• Doing a simple skincare routine that makes you feel refreshed.
• Having a digital detox by putting your phone away for an hour.
•  Enjoying a cup of coffee or tea in silence.

When you take care of yourself first, you show others that you deserve the same love and respect you give.

Conclusion

Loving yourself isn't about being selfish, its about setting a foundation for how you want to be treated. When you treat yourself with kindness, respect, and care, you naturally attract relationships that reflect the same.

So before expecting love from others, ask yourself: Have I truly loved myself first?

I'd love to hear from you how do you practice self-love in your daily life? Let's chat in the comments!